


Back to Me

by agreenbabywren



Series: Look [3]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Complete, F/M, Romance, not a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 11:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17621822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agreenbabywren/pseuds/agreenbabywren
Summary: Desperate for a place to live, you figure you can deal with a faulty wall if it means renting a great apartment for such an insanely low price. It’s not long before your obnoxiously loud neighbour is driving you crazy though. When you try to tell him off, things go a lot different then you'd planned. He just doesn’t fight fair. How can you stay mad at him when he has a smile like that? Youngjae x Reader





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm back with Part 3 of the Look series! I'm very happy with this sweet story, Youngjae is such a cutie! :) 
> 
> Like usual, this story is already complete and I will be getting the chapters posted as I finish editing them. They should all be up by the end of the day. I hope you enjoy the story!!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction. I do not claim ownership over the individuals present in the story. The story I tell here is of my own invention and I do not claim it to be true. This story was written for my entertainment only and I am not profiting from the creation or publication of this story. I am a proud ahgase and I’m just having a little fun, so please don’t sue me :) Got7, fighting!

“I think you'll find the price reasonable, if not low for the amount of space. It really is a great location too.”

How was this possible?? You pinch yourself to make sure you're not dreaming before repeating the price back to the landlady to be sure.

She gives you an indulgent smile, chuckling at the way your face lights up as you explore the apartment further. You had been a little scared of the landlady when you first called her to inquire about the one bedroom she had available to rent. Though she had sounded a bit gruff on the phone, as soon as she took in your worn out, on the verge of homelessness look, she immediately started to fuss over you. You had shovelled down a few of her freshly baked muffins and she had even let you save some for later in your backpack.

It had been a challenge getting into college to study architecture, but it was even more difficult moving to a new city. With just a handful of belongings, some well-worn clothes and your trusty green backpack, you had left behind everything you'd known. It was a relief really, since you had spent your life shuffling from one foster parent to another. Never really belonging anywhere or to anyone. Now you had the chance to reinvent yourself and change your future to one of your choosing.

You had run headlong towards your dreams, only to quickly find out that your savings were running too thin, too fast. It had been extremely stressful moving out of the expensive dorms in the middle of assignments and upcoming exams, especially since you were starting to become good friends with your roommates. Being forced to move out before you could find somewhere cheap enough to stay had led to a few weeks sleeping in internet cafes. You really wanted to leave that behind and find your own safe space again.

When you saw the ad for this apartment, you had figured it would be a dump, but you couldn't resist the insanely low price. With your savings, you could afford a few months here. Now that you’ve seen it, you can’t believe your luck. It was perfect! The new full-time contract position you landed yesterday morning would also help you pick up the slack once your savings run out.

Coasting on an emotional high, you glide through the apartment in a state of bliss. Boy, had you been wrong about this place. The open layout of the fully furnished living room and kitchen looked so cozy. You quickly fall in love with the cute little birds etched into the wooden border along the kitchen cabinets. This would be the perfect space to study and you even had room to do yoga in the mornings, without needing to move the furniture around for once!

The bathtub has you daydreaming about bubble baths before you finally stop to admire the _separate_ bedroom. No studio apartment space for you! Not that you had anyone to invite over, but maybe one day. The double bed looks super spacious compared to the bed from your dorm and you're intrigued by the way the intricate wire frame of the headboard was twisted into the shape of a gorgeous tree filled with tiny baby birds. You smile, sensing a theme to the apartment.

As if she can read your mind, the landlady chuckles from behind you and says, “Sorry, I just love bird watching. I hope you don’t mind the decor.” Laughing, you spin around to face her with a big grin on your face, “It’s perfect. I love the birds, I love all of it!” She looks relieved and gestures back towards the entrance. “Would you like to fill out an application then? I will have to check your references, but I should be able to get back to you tomorrow and then I’ll need your first month’s rent. You did say you wanted to move in right away, is that right?”

You nod before scuffing your toe on the flooring awkwardly. “What kind of references would you need exactly?” Crossing her arms and tapping her chin thoughtfully, the landlady replies, “Well, I’m looking for any previous landlords, though your parents would even work. They can be cosigners if you don’t have any other references.” When your face falls at this, she unconsciously takes a step towards you, instantly concerned. You can tell that she has warmed to you, so you take the chance and explain your situation to her.

As she nods her head in understanding and reflects on all you have told her, you try to remember to breathe to ease the tightness in your chest. You **need** this place. “Well, this _is_ a tricky situation,” she agrees with a smile. You take this as a good sign and listen as she continues, “I can take you in on good faith, but you will have to give me two months rent up front. I will keep the second month as a last month’s rent in case things don’t work out. Sound fair?” Nodding vigorously, you quickly do the calculations as a “Sounds great!” slips passed your lips. It will be tight, but you can make it work.

The way the landlady seems genuinely pleased that you will be staying makes you feel even more excited to move in now. She’s probably a favourite Auntie to many of her tenants and you find yourself hoping that you can make up for the kindness she has shown you today. “Thank you so much, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you letting me rent this apartment.” Your happiness is brief though when her smile quickly slips from her face, like she has just remembered something she had forgotten. 

Your heart is in your throat as she says, “You’re welcome dear. But, I almost forgot something very important. This will make or break our arrangement, I’m afraid. Now, you’ve probably been wondering why the apartment has been listed at such a low price. I’m not surprised you didn’t ask.” You shrug your shoulders and mumble, “Didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. ”She chuckles at this, nodding in understanding as she continues, “The reason it is so low is because of an issue with this wall here.” Confusion flits across your face as she taps her hand on the wall running along the right side of the apartment. All of the rooms use this wall as a border, but you hadn’t noticed anything abnormal earlier. “Looks alright to me.”

The landlady nods her agreement, but adds, “The issue is actually behind the drywall. There was an earthquake a few years ago that cracked this foundational wall on every floor. It broke a water pipe too. Everything was ripped out and replaced up to code, but the contractor forgot to put insulation in the wall on this floor.” As you soak in this new information, you try to wrap your mind around the repercussions of such an oversight. “Does it affect the efficiency of the heating system or something?” The landlady sighs and shakes her head no. “The real issue is the fact that this is a shared wall between this apartment and the one next door. The lack of insulation makes this wall not as soundproof as it should be and your neighbour can be quite loud, I admit.”

The landlady chuckles at this, like she is gushing over a favourite grandson, before she continues more seriously. “The last tenant who lived here was very aggressive and lashed out repeatedly at the other resident because of this rather solving the issue through me. Things got out of hand a couple months ago after a particularly explosive confrontation, so I had to ask her to move out. I don’t stand for that sort of behaviour between my tenants. She was happy to leave honestly.”

Unsure of how to take this new information, you rub your forehead in dismay. “I’m not trying to scare you off sweetheart,” the landlady says, “I just want you to be aware of the facts. I have lowered the price of the apartment so that my next tenant will accept it under the condition that they leave their neighbour alone. It’s not his fault that the wall was reconstructed poorly and I don’t want a repeat of the last time.”

She pats your arm softly before heading out of the apartment, adding, “Take some time and think about it. I’ll put on some tea and wait for your answer. You can come find me upstairs when you’re ready.” Left alone, you glance around the apartment once more. You would be a fool to turn your back on this apartment. You feel safe and welcomed here and you would take a matchbox sized apartment if it meant feeling like that every day.

Your eyes drift over to the problematic wall. It seemed so innocuous and innocent. Surely, you could put up with some noise every now and again? The reward definitely seemed greater than the risk. Resolved, you nod your head and close the apartment door behind you before jogging up the stairs to sign the lease and sip some tea. This was going to be your home tomorrow and you couldn’t wait.

If only you had known what you were getting yourself into.


	2. Chapter 2

You were living beside a crazy person.

The first few months in your new apartment were like a dream. After three months of working nights and peaceful days spent sleeping, you were done your full-time contract job. While it was nice to be so financially secure for a time, you were really looking forward to basking in some sunlight between classes now that the semester was starting back up. It took a bit of time to shuffle your internal clock around so that you weren’t sleeping during the day anymore, but it was nice to be up with the birdies once more. You were on the hunt for a part time job to help with living expenses again, but at least you had some breathing room for the first semester.

Maybe it was because you weren’t leaving around supper time everyday to make the commute to your old job, but it only took a couple of days for you to start to hear your neighbour off and on through the wall. You couldn’t really hear him unless he was speaking or yelling really loudly, which he seemed to have a knack for doing. Exact words were usually hard to make out, but you could hear the gist of his mood through his tone of voice. You had thought it was rather funny at first, being able to listen in. But now... 

Every evening, you found your studying or sketching interrupted by uncontrollably loud laughing or exuberant exclamations. It was like this dude didn’t have an unhappy bone in his body. Which was fine, except... well, a lot of the time he seemed to be _alone_. Like laughing or screaming for no reason. Sure, sometimes he was crazy loud because he was playing with his dog, a cute little white pup named Coco according to the landlady. Sometimes you might even hear him reacting to a movie or something. But, honestly, more often than not, all that you heard was his powerful voice… All. By. Itself.

If that didn’t freak you out enough, you had also made the unhappy realization that your bathtubs ran parallel to the same dysfunctional wall. Relaxing bubble baths were frequently overpowered by an eclectic mix of GOT7 songs and classic Korean ballads. Your old roommate had been a huge fan, so you recognized the tune of some of their more popular songs. His choice of music left you confused though because he sounded so lonely more often than not, even when he was putting on a playful opera voice. 

It was almost bittersweet listening to him sing these sad songs with such a lovely, gifted voice. His loneliness reminded you of your own though, so you often rushed your baths so you could escape to the bedroom. At least there your bed was on the opposite wall. It was extremely rare for you to hear him in there and you were grateful for that. You really needed to grab your sleep when you could and if the sounds were any indication, your neighbour was a bit of a night owl.

It wasn’t until the crunch of multiple term projects hit amidst starting a new part time job that you found your patience wearing incredibly thin. After dragging yourself home from your call centre job, you had tossed your bra, thrown on your comfiest pajama pants and tied your hair up in a loose ponytail before flopping down at the kitchen table to sort through your mess of a life. 

In the midst of drawing up a schedule to manage all of your upcoming assignments, not to mention midterms, readings and work shifts, you jump when obnoxiously loud laughing suddenly comes through the wall. Cursing under your breath, you try your best to ignore it, but the laughter seems never ending tonight. And, once again, there’s no reason for the laughter…  You picture yourself walking over and screaming in your neighbour’s face, “What the hell is so funny?!” and this soothes you for about 10 minutes before frantic shouting followed by more laughter makes you spill the tea you just made... All over your course papers and the schedule you were almost finished making.

You burn your fingertips trying to rescue as many papers as you can. The heat pulls a pained shout from you before you rush to cool your fingers under the sink. A glance at the clock shows you it’s passed 11. You really ought to get to bed since you had that 8 am class tomorrow, but now all of your hard work was ruined. Should you call the landlady and complain? She’s probably asleep though. Maybe tomorrow?

More carefree laughter floats through the walls along with the sound of fists banging on a hard surface, pissing you off deeply. You feel like pulling your hair out as the yelling continues. Before your more rational side can call a ceasefire or contemplate the consequences on your tenancy, you stomp out into the hall in your sparkly pink penguin slippers and knock angrily on your neighbour’s door. You are gonna tell him off  **so** bad.

The sensation of your jaw dropping open slightly is lost on you as you watch the door swing open to reveal the most genuinely happy face you have ever seen. His little eye smiles charm you instantly as you take in your neighbour's cute little elfin ears, adorable round cheeks and his unmistakably huge grin. He’s only a touch taller than you and possibly around your age, but his loose, long sleeves and baggy pants make him seem younger and more vulnerable, in a soft, fluffy kind of way. Your eyes just skim over his otter slippers before an energetic white dog runs up to be scooped into his arms. When your eyes connect once more, it’s like time starts to pass again, but you’ve forgotten why you were angry. How could you be angry with someone so cute?

“You must be my neighbour! I’m sorry, were we too loud?” Without a wall to muffle the sound, his voice sounds so warm and kind. What is going on? Too flustered to introduce yourself properly, you nod and ask, “We?” He seems amused by the confusion on your face and this somehow lights up his eyes even more. You stare as he moves slightly so he is no longer blocking the doorway. Sitting at his living room coffee table is another attractive looking guy who is silently watching you. 

“Wait, so you’re not insane?” You blush and cover your mouth, but the words have already registered on his surprised face. You watch him exchange a quick glance with his friend before laughing hysterically. Seems like you may have hit the mark slightly based on his reaction, but the way his mouth opens wide, like his amusement is so strong it needs to burst out of him, is rather adorable. 

As the laughter dies down, you decide to start over and offer your name. Pleased by the never ending smile on his face, you grin when your neighbour introduces himself as Youngjae and his friend as Mark-hyung. You wave to the friend and receive a tentative shy smile back before he puts his headphones back on and returns to his game.  “Listen, I’m sorry for barging over here,” you offer apologetically. There’s no way you can stay mad at Youngjae now that you’ve met him. “I honestly  **have** been having a problem with your noise level, but I should have approached you about it sooner instead of coming over in a rampage with pent up frustration.” You chuckle as Youngjae shakes his head and says, “No, I’m sorry I’ve been so loud. I forget about the wall sometimes. I’ll try harder to keep it down.”

You shoot Youngjae a grateful smile and nod your thanks. “I better get back to my homework now, sorry to bother you guys.” Just as you reach your door, Youngjae calls from his doorway, “That’s alright, it was really nice to meet you finally. I’ve been trying to say hi since you moved in, but you were never home in the evenings. Hopefully we’ll see each other more often now.” You glance back and smile as you shyly nod to this. 

Youngjae’s beaming smile dissolves into playful laughter as he adds, “Though I don’t think I’ll ever forget how you look in those pajamas.” Looking down in horror, you wrap your sweater around yourself tightly and rush back into your apartment as Youngjae continues to laugh innocently. You forgot you weren’t wearing a bra, but you get the feeling that Youngjae is talking about the embarrassing skating penguins on your pants. You blush and cover your face again with a chuckle. God, you hope you never run into him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone curious, I decided to use honorifics when Youngjae speaks about the other members in this story. I usually write the dialogue in a way that they don't need to be included, but Youngjae seems to always uses them in real life and he speaks so politely that I couldn't imagine him not using them in my story. Apologies if I make any errors in the upcoming chapters, I tried my best to be accurate :)


	3. Chapter 3

True to his word, Youngjae is much quieter for the rest of the week. You are surprised when you don’t hear a peep out of him at all the week after, but you figure he must be out of town since there’s no way he wouldn’t make **any** noise. It isn’t until late into the second week with no sound that you finally realize who Youngjae is. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together, but even you feel a little slow on the uptake. This realization leads to an unhealthy amount of time binging on GOT7 content instead of doing homework, but you would deny it if anyone ever asked.

Probably what surprises you the most after all of that ‘research’ is how genuine and cheerful Youngjae always is. You don’t see much difference between GOT7 Youngjae and your neighbour Youngjae and that makes it seem less intimidating to have him as a neighbour. You are definitely a fan, but you can't see yourself fangirling over him, probably because you had known him and seen him as a normal guy first. That being said, you are definitely hoping to overhear him singing again sometime soon!

Or so you thought. Today is day three of Youngjae’s return and you barely got any studying done last night. You felt too shy to go over and say something again and instead chose to suffer in frustrated silence. Regretting your decision, you sigh and poke at the bags under your eyes. So much for beauty sleep. School was grueling this week, but today at least had a ray of sunshine. You weren’t scheduled for work today and you were finished your classes early since the professor had to cancel your afternoon class. You finally had some free time to tackle the sketching assignment that has been stressing you out.

After tugging on your well-worn brown riding boots and cozy teal poncho coat, you grab your drawing materials and head out of the apartment with a smile on your face. Just as you finish locking your door, you hear the bark of a small dog as another door opens. Your surprised face is mirrored on Youngjae’s before his transforms into a huge smile. “I wasn’t expecting to run into you at this time of day! It’s nice to see you again!”

You curse the flighty feeling unsettling your composure and offer a friendly smile back. “Yeah, I usually have class now, but it was cancelled. Just going out to do some sketches for an assignment.” You lift your sketchbook awkwardly. “How about you?” You grimace internally at your lame response, but are mollified when Youngjae happily replies, “I have a rare afternoon off today and I wanted to take Coco for a walk since I’ve been away.”

Coco prances around happily as Youngjae coos at her and you want to smack yourself in the face for being the smallest, tiniest bit jealous of a dog. You take a moment to admire Youngjae in his brown and azure plaid wool trench coat. It makes him look a bit older than the last time you saw him, a bit more mature... Shaking your head, you follow Youngjae and walk down the stairs together. As you breathe in the fresh cool air outside, Youngjae turns to you and asks unexpectedly, “Mind if Coco and I tag along with you? I didn’t really have anywhere in mind to walk her and I’m curious about what you’re gonna sketch.”

His easygoing smile makes you agree without much thought, so you find your afternoon filled with time to get to know your neighbour. Youngjae actually ends up being a huge help with your assignment once you explain to him that you need to sketch four very different pieces of architecture found within your neighbourhood. Being a longtime resident of the area, he easily leads you around to several unique monuments and buildings that have caught his eye over the years.

You can feel yourself lighting up with excitement as you sketch while Youngjae plays catch with Coco. His cheerful voice creates the perfect ambiance, sucking you into the beauty of your surroundings and what you are sketching. You don't even notice him peeking at your work over your shoulder until his loud exclamation of, “You're so talented!” makes you jump. You scold him, but he just laughs merrily as he dances away from your swatting arm. By the time you reach the second location, you feel like you could recognize Youngjae’s voice anywhere.

Just as you are finishing up some shading on your third piece, your pencil stills at the sound of Youngjae trying to bark with Coco. You look up through your bangs and stare, a tiny part of you wanting to gush at how cute he is. You settle for laughing at how ridiculous he looks. Youngjae doesn’t even seemed embarrassed. He just grins at you and before you know it you are roped into barking too. You laugh like crazy at Coco’s confused expression. “Guess I need to work on speaking Coco.” Youngjae chuckles at this but beams when Coco runs up to your lap to be pet anyway. “At least she likes you!”

When Youngjae slips on a face mask in the busier parts of town, you feel sad to watch his smile disappear, but it is like he is carrying around sunshine with him. You can’t help but feel happier and lighter just talking and joking around with him. As you outline the foundation for your final sketch, you find yourself opening up to Youngjae’s gentle curiosity and sharing your story with him like he has been doing with you all afternoon. It's so easy to show him what you usually keep hidden. You haven’t been able to talk to someone like this in years. He seems to take it all in with a kindness and sincerity that reassures you that your trust will be honoured and reciprocated. Long after you have finished your final piece, you linger in its shadow not wanting to leave this feeling behind.

Spent from a whole afternoon of laughing and chatting though, you finally call it quits. You offer to buy Youngjae a drink to thank him for his help before you both have to head home. He brings you to a quiet, little cafe based in an old brick home covered in red-tinged ivy and you can’t help but think that it’s perfect. You feel the itch to sketch it, but Coco’s whines for water prompt you to head inside for the drinks first. Maybe you could come back with Youngjae another day? You would love to sketch him too, with his face vibrating in happiness from laughing too hard. You sigh and bring the drinks out to Youngjae and Coco who are sitting outside.

As you enjoy your drinks together, you finally ask the questions that have been poking at you since that first night you met Youngjae. “So, do you live with your friend then? I thought you lived alone. It always seems like you’re laughing and yelling by yourself.” Youngjae chokes on his drink at your comment and you hurriedly offer him napkins to clean up. You’re too embarrassed to mention the bathtime singing, since that seems to be a personal time for him. Having recovered, Youngjae laughs a bit before explaining, “Mark-hyung **is** very quiet, so I’m not surprised you don’t hear him when he’s over. I actually do live by myself now, since my brother is away doing an exchange program. Well, not by myself, Coco's there too!” Youngjae leans in for a kiss from the happy puppy and you smile at the sweet exchange.

He takes a quick sip before continuing, “Mark-hyung comes over sometimes to hang out or spend the night. He owns Coco too so he comes to visit her often.” You think of the shy guy you met briefly and it totally makes sense to you that you wouldn’t hear him over Youngjae. You stir your straw thoughtfully as you ask, “Why **are** you so loud then? You’ve been really loud since you came back. What have you been doing anyway?”

You realize this sounds intrusive a little too late, but Youngjae takes it as a friendly question. “You know, a lot of the time I like to just relax and play video games online in the evenings. I do that with Mark-hyung when he comes over too. I probably don’t even realize how loud I’m being with the headphones on. You wouldn’t be able to hear our games either, no wonder you thought I was crazy!” Youngjae bursts out laughing at this and you want to sink into the floor at the way his eyes twinkle in amusement at you.

Youngjae pulls Coco up to rest on his lap as he adds, “I also record live stream videos with fans sometimes, you might have heard those too.” You nod at this, having secretly watched one the other day. No, you are not obsessed. You had just stumbled upon the video near the end of the stream and watched it purely out of curiosity when the video synced up with the sounds you were hearing through the wall. Well, and so you could see Youngjae again too. Just a glimpse of his smile would make anyone feel better.

After settling the bill and walking home, you both linger to talk in the hall, not wanting to end such a nice afternoon just yet. Toying around with an idea, you ask Youngjae, “What do you think of maybe using a signal to let you know you're being too loud?” He seems excited by the idea as he asks, “What signal did you have in mind?” You smile and reply with a question of your own, “You sit near the wall when you’re on your computer right?” He nods and starts to ask, “How…” before you cut him off, not wanting to look like a stalker. “I was thinking maybe this could work.” You lift your hand and knock on the wall you are both leaning on. You hear the beat in your mind as you feel it beneath your fingers.

_Knock-knock-knock, knock-knock, knock-knock, knock-knock, knock-knock-knock_

_Ha-ji-ma, ha-ji, ha-ji, ha-ji, ha-ji-ma_

Youngjae seems impressed by your cleverness as a loud, “Wow!” reverberates in the hallway. “I didn’t think you knew any of our music, that’s perfect!” You beam in happiness at his praise, but point a playful finger at him. “You better listen when I do it the first time though and don’t make me do it every night either! I don’t want bruised knuckles!”

The sound of Youngjae’s laughter stays with you even after you have to say goodnight and go your separate ways. After such a wonderful afternoon, you find yourself wishing you could hear Youngjae laugh every day. A few hours later, you are forced to use the new signal for the first time. Is it possible to love the same thing about someone that drives you absolutely crazy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone curious, the coat Youngjae wears for their walk is based on the one he is wearing in the 'I Won't Let You Go' music video. He looks so good in that outfit! ;D


	4. Chapter 4

A few tentative knocks later and walks with Youngjae and Coco quickly become a regular highlight to your free evenings. You are surprised how much you come to love the simplicity of walking next to Youngjae as you stroll aimlessly, too intent on chatting to care where your feet are taking you. A full blown friendship evolves effortlessly between the two of you in the span of a few weeks and you only feel closer to Youngjae as you spend more and more time with him.

You even find yourself missing his obnoxiously loud voice when he is away because of work, though it does mean you have an easier time studying. Looks like all of that hard work paid off too! Midterms are officially over and if your aching fingers are a sign of anything, you definitely feel like you rocked those tests! With a bounce in your step, you text Youngjae to let him know how your last test went.

When Youngjae had bashfully asked you for your number last month after dropping you off at your door, you thought you would be wearing a blush permanently from feeling so flustered. Thankfully, you had just gotten a new cell phone with your most recent paycheck after your old one had bit the dust. You had clumsily typed your number into his phone, thinking he would never have time to actually contact you. Now the two of you text each other constantly.

Youngjae always manages to make you laugh with the cute stickers or silly gifs he sends you and today is no exception. You giggle as he sends you a short clip of him yelling “Whaaa!!” with his hands in the air like a little kid before sticking his thumb up quickly and saying, “Good job!!” with a serious expression. What a weirdo! Your laughter trails off as you read his new messages.

_‘Since you worked so hard, did you want to come over to my place and watch some movies tonight?’_

_‘I have plenty of junk food! Coco misses you too.’_

Your keys freeze in your doorknob as you reread the messages several times before glancing over at your neighbour’s door. Go to _Youngjae’s_ tonight? With a speed you didn’t know you possessed, you unlock your door and slip inside before pressing your back to the door once it closes again. You remind yourself to breathe. It’s okay for friends to hang out in each other's apartments. This is no big deal.

This mantra sees you through the rest of the night as you wait for the time Youngjae said he would be home from dance practice. In your restlessness, you try on three different outfits before smacking yourself upside the head. You’re just watching movies with Coco! You end up settling for your favourite purple yoga pants and a thin black v-neck pullover sweater. You do give in to the compulsion to straighten your hair though when you see how wild it looks after changing in and out of shirts so many times.

A bit of a nervous wreck, you feel relieved when it’s finally time for you to head over. Smoothing your hair down one more time, you knock on Youngjae’s door for the first time since you came to tell him off so long ago. The memory of that night makes you chuckle and a real smile lights up your face when Youngjae opens the door. He seems stunned for a minute as he takes you in, but he quickly recovers and welcomes you in with a blush.

You feel his eyes follow you as he walks you into his living room. The air feels nervously awkward as Youngjae tries to make small talk about how the practice went. Just managing to resist the urge to fidget with your sweater, you glance around curiously as Coco barks a greeting from the couch. You hadn’t really had the chance to look before, but now you can see that Youngjae keeps a keyboard in the living room too. As your fingers skim over the keys, Youngjae startles you with an embarrassed shout and rushes over to hide the music sheets propped up at the keyboard.

You laugh as the pages fall to the floor in his haste and bend to pick up the few that landed by your feet. Scribbles of music notes transform the pages into a melody you can almost hear in your head as you look through them. Youngjae had taught you some basics on how to read music on one of your many walks, but not enough to give you a full picture of the song he is writing. There aren’t any lyrics yet, but you get the feeling you’re gonna like it. “Why are you hiding these?” you ask as you hand the pages back to a flushed Youngjae.

As he organizes them, Youngjae mumbles, “Sorry, I just don’t want you to see it until it’s finished.” After storing them away properly, he turns back to you with a huge grin, finally breaking the awkwardness between you. You laugh as he shouts, “Let’s get this movie night started!” before dragging you to the couch. You’re not surprised when you see the stack of comedies and family movies on his coffee table. You might be a horror movie buff, but you know there's no way Youngjae will ever sit through one of those.

After a lengthy debate on which movie to start first, you find yourself settling down on the couch next to Youngjae. You shift awkwardly to try to give Youngjae more space since he’s stuck in between you and a stubborn Coco. You both didn’t have the heart to make her move anymore when she started to whine at your attempts to take her off the couch. And now she was asleep! As cute as she was, you are **not** okay with Youngjae sitting so close to you.

The prologue of the movie has already flown by without you understanding a word of it. All you are aware of is the heat radiating off Youngjae as his leg grazes yours on and off when he reaches for snacks from the table or turns to ask you something. Giving up on the movie, you let your eyes drift over to watch Youngjae as he laughs. In the dim lighting, you feel safe to soak in his sunshine recklessly as your chest begins to ache.

You’re not sure when this longing started, but as Youngjae’s eyes shift towards you, it only intensifies. Like a punch to the gut, you feel breathless as Youngjae continues to stare at you, his grin slipping into a softer smile that pulls your eyes to the curve of his lips. Unsure and unsteady, your eyes slip down further to your hands as Youngjae turns towards you and whispers your name. You watch the play of the tv lights across your lap as his hand comes to rest on yours. Your heart is racing as you glance back up to Youngjae for a clue as to why you feel this way.

You both jump and suffer simultaneous heart attacks when the sound of knocking breaks the moment. As you pause the movie, Youngjae gets  up with a sigh and answers the door. The sound of teasing filters into the living room as several young men storm the apartment.

“We heard you were having a movie night with your _neighbour_!”

“How come you didn’t invite us too, hyung?”

“What took you so long to answer the door, Youngjae-ya?”

“Hope you weren’t doing anything I wouldn’t do!”

“Are there any snacks left?”

“Hello, nice to finally meet you.”

The last comment is directed at you before you have time to wrap your mind around meeting the rest of the members in the most awkward way imaginable. You kind of want to sink into the floor as some of them glance between you and Youngjae. There is a strange tension between Youngjae and a couple of the older members, but everyone seems to relax when Coco gets up to greet Mark excitedly.

After a whirlwind of introductions, the boys settle around you to join the hang out and watch movies, with Youngjae taking the floor in favour of his hyungs. Several hours later finds you at home getting ready for bed, dumbfounded that you just spent the night watching kids movies and joking around with GOT7. You had really enjoyed getting to know them and had made plans to go out with them to karaoke sometime soon. As you climb into bed, you feel conflicted. You _are_ glad they decided to crash the movie night in a way, but you find yourself wondering what might have happened if they hadn’t shown up. You blush as your mind wanders, shifting from daydreams to sweet dreams as you drift off to sleep.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm such a tease! ;D 
> 
> And now, a challenge! I'm curious if anyone can figure out who says which line when the boys come in and crash Youngjae's movie night. I'd love to hear your guesses below! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Sighing for the fourth time in 10 minutes, you scroll through your phone on your break as your coworkers chuckle at your impatient expression. Youngjae's been gone for three weeks now doing promotional activities and guest appearances in Thailand. Even with Coco as your new roommate, you've been feeling pretty lonely in your quiet apartment.

It was probably a little pathetic, but you had even started sending Youngjae selfies with Coco by the end of the second week. You had said that they were from Coco because she missed him too much, but you had really just done it in the hopes that Youngjae would send you some back. He was really busy, but he did manage to send you some cute pictures when he had the chance. It was weird not seeing his smile on a regular basis now. You’re not sure how you went so long without it in your life.

Today is the day that Youngjae returns though and you can’t wait to see him. While a quieter apartment has been better for your academic life now that exams are in full swing, you are definitely happy that Youngjae is coming back. You get the feeling your coworkers are too, since you've been a little melancholy the last couple of weeks. It's been nice to have a few friends to chat with at the call center though, even if they were always pestering you to join them for drinking parties after work.

“Let me guess, you're skipping out again?” You glance up from zipping your coat when you're finally off the clock a few hours later. You nod apologetically at your cubicle mate as you grab your stuff in a hurry. You shoot her a wave as she laughs, knowing you are racing home to see your neighbour. Her call of, “At least come to the welcoming party for the new guy on Friday!” reaches you as you push open the exit doors. You grin and call back “I'll try! No promises though!”, chuckling when she rolls her eyes before the doors close. 

Rushing home is pointless, but you can't help it. Unfortunately, Youngjae is due back very late, or very early depending on how you look at it. Full of nervous energy, you poke around Youngjae’s apartment with Coco trailing behind you. Youngjae had given you a key so it would be easier to take care of Coco, but you had kept Coco at your place most of the time. She seemed happy to be back though, immediately claiming a spot on Youngjae's computer chair.

You smile at her before laying your textbook and notes across Youngjae's coffee table. Since you're planning on staying up to surprise Youngjae when he gets in, you might as well stay up studying for your last exam tomorrow. Grabbing a cup of tea, your eyes linger on some of Youngjae’s pictures as you blow on your cup to cool it down. As you giggle at some of the older pictures of Youngjae and his family, you find yourself at Youngjae's keyboard again. 

Feeling a little naughty, your eyes skim over his music sheets, recognizing the more polished version of the same song from before. There are still no lyrics, but your heart pounds a bit at the new title, ‘Dear Neighbour’. Shaking your head a bit, you scold yourself for peeking and start studying in earnest. Despite your best efforts, you finally give in to sleep a few hours later. It really had been a long day. You fall asleep on Youngjae’s couch with Coco cradled in your arms. 

In the midst of a deep sleep, Coco’s barking barely rouses you, though you shiver from the loss of warmth when she jumps off the couch. It’s not until a soft sweater drops onto your arms that you stir and slowly open your eyes. Youngjae is smiling at you sweetly in the low lighting, holding Coco in one arm while he straightens out the sweater. His eyes meet yours apologetically when he realizes you are awake. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just worried because you seemed cold.” 

You pull the sweater up to cover your face as your cheeks heat up, both at his thoughtful gesture and the softness of his eyes as he smiles at you. Youngjae’s sweater smells like him though and you begin to feel warm all over for a different reason. Thankfully, Coco is too busy smothering Youngjae in kisses for him to notice your embarrassment. You sit up and slide over so Youngjae can sit down, asking around a yawn, “So how was your trip?”

Listening to Youngjae surprisingly energizes you once more and you find yourself hanging on his every word between the laughs you share. His voice is like music to your ears. A careless glance at the clock is quick to ruin the mood though when you realize you have to get up in a little over 4 hours for your last exam. Youngjae seems disappointed when you suddenly jump up to leave. His expression has you considering staying longer anyway, but when he catches on to why you need to go, he apologizes for keeping you.

You linger at his door though, unwilling to leave this blissful feeling behind. With your hand on the doorknob, you turn back to Youngjae and finally say what your heart has been cheering all night, “I’m so happy that you’re back.” Youngjae smiles widely at this. “Me too.” In a few strides, he reaches you and wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your hair. Your heart stumbles when he mumbles, “I really missed you,” into your ear. You can feel the heat of his cheek against your skin and blush yourself as you whisper, “I missed you too.”

A moment or two passes as you hold each other, content to just be together again. When Coco finally races over and jumps at your legs, you both break apart with a laugh. “Oh! Before you go!” You raise an eyebrow in confusion when Youngjae rushes to his luggage before coming back and putting a parcel in your hands. He seems shy as he explains, “I meant to wrap it nicely for you, but this will have to do. I just wanted to get you something to say thanks for taking such good care of Coco.”

The softest fabric spills across your hands as you tear open the package. You gasp in happiness at the beautiful Thai silk scarf, mesmerized by its intricate pattern. The tiny elephants marching across the hem charm you as you admire the way rivers of teal drift in and out of the soft rose colour of the scarf. You swiftly wrap the scarf around yourself before beaming at Youngjae, “I love it! Thank you so much! I will match my coat perfectly too!” 

Youngjae nods with relief at this. “I’m so glad you like it! I wanted to get you something practical, but I bought this on a whim because the pink colouring reminded me of the way your cheeks flush after laughing really hard.” You’re not sure who is blushing harder as you both stare awkwardly at each other after this announcement. You finally decide to rescue Youngjae when he begins to stutter in an effort to backtrack. “Well, thanks. I really do love it. I really gotta go now or I’m gonna be a zombie in the morning.” His laugh and a belated, “Good night!” follows you out into the hall as you make a quick exit.

When morning rolls around all too soon, you begrudgingly drag yourself out of bed and get ready in a haze. Just as you’re deciding that today is going to suck and you might hate everything, the sight of your new scarf makes you pause. As you wrap it around yourself once again and take a quick peek at yourself in the mirror, you feel that giddy energy from last night dancing around in your stomach. Locking the door behind you, you bounce down the steps, humming to yourself. Maybe today won’t be so bad after all. 


	6. Chapter 6

A long nap and a horror movie are the perfect remedy for your exhaustion when you get home from your exam. You laugh at the over-the-top acting of the heroine as she screams and flees from the serial killer. You've watched so many horror movies over the years that most of these tropes crack you up now. Just as the scene reaches a high tension point, you hear Youngjae get home and greet Coco loudly from the other side of the wall.

Grinning evilly, you mute the tv and turn the volume up full blast. Patting yourself on the back for your perfect timing, you grin as you unmute the tv in time for the jarring jump scare. Youngjae's surprised shout and terrified laughter has you laughing hysterically. Pausing the movie, you just catch Youngjae's indignant knocking on the wall telling you to stop. You clutch your stomach from laughing so hard. That was the first time he's ever sent the signal to you and it was totally worth it!

As you finish up the final scene of the movie at a more reasonable volume, your phone chimes with a message from Youngjae.

_‘That was really mean you know!’_

You giggle, imagining a pout on his face. His next message comes through before you can reply.

_‘I don't think I should invite you to join us for karaoke tonight anymore…’_

Excitement rushes through you, lending speed to your fingers as you quickly text back.

_‘I'm sorry, I promise I won't do it again!’_

When Youngjae doesn't reply for a couple minutes, you know he is just dragging it out to punish you. With a sigh, you knock on the wall to Youngjae again before shooting one more message.

‘ _Please forgive me. I really am sorry.’_

You smile widely as Youngjae inevitably caves and texts you to meet him in an hour so you can head to karaoke together. You decide to take a quick shower and giggle when you can hear Youngjae start to sing on the other side of the wall. Over the last couple of months, you've been lingering to listen to him more and more. He's definitely been sounding happier as of late and you secretly hope that you have something to do with that.

As Youngjae gets into full swing, you slip out of the shower, covering the laugh that threatens to escape. You still haven't told him about listening in. He would die of embarrassment if he knew you had heard him make all those silly voices. Slipping on your favourite skinny jeans and a tank top, you rustle through your drawers for a shirt while your hair dries.

You feel like your heart is going to leap out of your chest when you suddenly hear Youngjae screaming at the top of his lungs in his bedroom. The frightened screaming increases in volume somehow as you hear some banging around, like Youngjae is in a scuffle. When the sound cuts off sharply and is followed by complete silence, the thought that this might be a joke is replaced by real fear and anxiety.

On instinct, you race out of your apartment, snagging the key to open Youngjae's door at the last second. Your heartbeat is pounding in your ears as you rush to the back where you're sure Youngjae's room will be, calling his name frantically as you go. Fear is replaced by confusion when you find Youngjae sitting up from his bedroom floor, glancing around wildly before pointing at his dresser.

As he begins to shout, “Get it! Get it!!”, your mind catches up and you turn to Youngjae incredulously. “A bug, Youngjae?! I nearly had a heart attack, I thought you were really hurt!” His eyes turn wide as the bug crawls closer to him and he practically shrieks, “I'm sorry, just get rid of it! Please!” You sigh and pick up the bug, a beetle you can see now, and take it to the window. After you release it, you turn back to Youngjae, chuckling at his relieved expression.

He seems a bit embarrassed as he explains, “The bug flew right at me after I tried squashing it a few times. I tried to move out of the way, but I slipped on my towel and lost my breath for a moment.” He comes around the bed and hugs you. “Sorry I scared you.” Figuring the hug is more of a comfort to him than you, you playfully admit, “It's fine, I guess we're even now.” His face lights up as he laughs at this and the last traces of his worried expression disappear.

As a cool wind blows through the still open window, you both shiver and become aware of your states of undress. Goosebumps travel across your exposed arms and chest while your toes curl on the fluffy pink rug on the floor. While you're not exactly indecent, it's still less than you would usually wear around Youngjae. He looks positively scandalized when he realizes he only had the chance to slip on some boxers and a muscle shirt himself. You both blush furiously after a moment or two of staring at each other. When Youngjae backs up and starts searching for some pants, you glance around his room awkwardly until your eyes land on his bed and your brain short circuits a bit.

With a hasty, “I need to finish getting ready!” you zoom out of the apartment, laughing at yourself for wishing the bug had attacked Youngjae while he was still in a towel. Leaving your less than innocent thoughts behind, you finish dressing and meet Youngjae in time for karaoke. You are beyond excited. This is the first time you've all had the chance to hang out since that movie night. It's been fun getting to know each of the members over the last couple months, though you've probably grown closest to Mark since he comes over to hang out with Youngjae and Coco much more often than the rest of the guys.

When you finally walk through the doors of the karaoke place with Youngjae, you receive a rowdy greeting from Jackson that alerts the rest of the guys to your arrival. Mark turns and smiles at you, giving you a hug first before the other boys. “Ooo, girl! You smell good!” You laugh at Bambam's compliment as he hugs you. “Thanks, I thought I'd try out a new shampoo,” you say, blushing as Youngjae stares at you with a crinkled brow. Did he figure out that you heard him singing earlier?

Bambam backs off when Mark shoots him a dirty look. You're kind of surprised by the exchange, more so when Mark glances at Youngjae, who, now that you look again, seems a little annoyed and bummed out. You offer Youngjae a tentative smile that perks him back up. “Let's go pick some songs,” JB says, herding the wild group towards the private booth he just finished booking.

It seems like most of the boys inhaled a pound of sugar before coming or something. Their limitless energy has you laughing all night. Thankfully, you find a kindred spirit in Jinyoung, who is also content to just sit back and watch their antics. While you're nowhere near on par with the boys, you hold your own in a duet with Yugyeom and bring enough attitude to earn some cheers in a rap battle with Mark. When you inevitably lose, you're forced to cave to his request that you sing with Youngjae next.

The idea of singing with Youngjae is super intimidating, so you had been avoiding it all night. It seems like Mark had the right idea though because Youngjae is crazy excited. He quickly grabs the mic and does a cute little rumba on his way up to stand next to you. You laugh as Mark starts up ‘Confession Song’ to the groans of the others. He had caught you singing that song under your breath last week and had teased you relentlessly about being a closet ahgase.

You find yourself relaxing as you sing the familiar words and sync up surprisingly well with Youngjae. The rest of the room fades away, like it's just you and him singing to each other. You feel your chest tighten as you sing the words, “I love you,” over and over again. When your eyes connect with Youngjae's as you start the last chorus, you feel tingly and scared, warm and shaky all at the same time. Your pulse is pounding, but it feels like your heart is singing along to the words. As the last line, “I love you, I do,” leaves your lips, you have the startling realization that _you're in love with Youngjae._

You continue to stare back at Youngjae as the song plays out, trying to read his eyes that at once seem so happy and so worried. There's an audible silence in the room as the song ends. You feel like your heart is out on a line and you feel so nervous and uncomfortable being vulnerable like this. The moment passes though as Youngjae looks away, clapping and shouting, “Great job! Jaebum-hyung, sing with me next!”

Numb fingers pass off the mic as you retreat from the limelight to the back table. Buzzing fills your ears while you sip at your drink with downcast eyes. Mark comes and sits beside you eventually, passing you some of the spicy chips he bought earlier. Picking at them, you barely notice as the night moves on without you. You shift closer to Mark when Youngjae claims the seat beside you so Jackson and Jinyoung can sing next.

You hate how awkward you feel and wonder if it's written on your face. With a frustrated sigh, you excuse yourself to the bathroom. A couple of mental kicks in the butt later, you brush off what happened earlier. Maybe Youngjae didn't understand what you were feeling, it's not fair to blame him for not being psychic. Besides, you've only just recognized your feelings. There has to be a better way to tell him how you feel than in a room full of people.

As you leave the bathroom, you hear raised voices from your private room. You pick up the pace, but things quiet down as you approach the door. When you go inside, there is definitely a tension hanging over the room. You glance between Youngjae and JB, who seem particularly frustrated with each other. What is going on? You clear your throat in the sullen silence, drawing everyone's attention. “I'm kind of hungry,” you say with a grin, smoothing out the tension seamlessly. “Wanna go grab some frozen yogourt or something?”

You feel like the sour mood is your fault, so you're happy when the guys let things go and smile back at your peace offering. You point to your nose as you shout, “1, 2, 3, not paying!” Amidst peals of laughter at the expense of JB for being slow on the uptake, you make eye contact with Youngjae. He seems relieved when you shoot him a happy grin and a wink before following the guys outside. 

Later, when you're home snuggled up in bed with a full stomach, you think back on that moment. Soon, when the time is right, you're gonna tell Youngjae how you really feel. You're gonna make it so clear that there's no way he can second guess what you are trying to say. Smiling, you roll over and finally try to get some sleep. In the tranquil stillness of the night, you just make out the soft sound of familiar knocking on the far wall of your bedroom. You pull the covers up to hide your pink cheeks, unsure of what to make of the extended message.

_Stop it, stop stop stop it_

_Whenever you do that it drives me crazy_

_When you look into my eyes with that smile_

_I want to go hug you with all of my guts._


	7. Chapter 7

“I say seduce him.”

You glance around in embarrassment as your cubicle mate closes her locker and cocks an eyebrow at you. “Oh, don't play innocent! I know you want his…”. Slamming your locker shut before she can continue, you roll your eyes and zip up your coat. “As helpful as that advice is, I think I'll pass.” She laughs as you walk with her to the exit. The cold air makes you shiver as you mumble, “Remind me to never confide in you about my love life again.” She slings her arm around your shoulders, grinning at your gripe. “Hey, if it doesn't work out tonight, you can still join us for drinks! I'll save you a seat!” You swat off her arm playfully, shouting, “Thanks, I think!” as you run to catch the bus.

It's been a week since karaoke and you're finally ready to tell Youngjae how you feel. In a way, you're kind of glad he didn't understand what you were trying to say last week because it's given you some time to think about your feelings for Youngjae and whether or not you really want to move things beyond the comfortable safety of just being friends.

It feels strange to be able to know so deeply, so surely that you **do** want to risk it. You need to risk it. You've never opened your heart up to someone like this before, not since your first foster home taught you not to be so naive and trusting with your heart. Even if Youngjae just wants to remain friends, you want him to know that he's had such a big impact on you. A piece of your heart will always carry some love for him no matter how he responds tonight.

 _Tonight_. God, you're so nervous!! Just the thought of telling Youngjae tonight has your heart fluttering. You haven't seen him that much in the last couple days since GOT7 had a few guest appearances to film this week. This was his first free night so you had invited him over to hang out at your place for once. It was now or never.

Frustration makes you quicken your pace as you race up the stairs. Not only was the bus running late, but it had decided to snow unexpectedly. With a sigh, you push your damp bangs out of your eyes as you finally crest the top of the stairs. Youngjae turns to you with concern as he takes in your bedraggled appearance from your doorway. Perfect.

“I was just about to knock, are you okay?” You nod unhappily, brushing the snow off your coat. “Yeah, just got caught unprepared for the season's first blizzard, that's all.” Youngjae laughs and starts gently brushing some snow off of your head as you unlock your door. From the corner of your eye, you can see the sweet smile his is giving you. The butterflies from earlier return full force and your face begins to heat up.

Fate seems to be fickle tonight though because the lights suddenly shut off as you open your door. Great. Youngjae's loud shriek practically blows your eardrum out since he's standing right beside you. His hands grip your shoulders in fear, as if to reassure himself that he's not alone in the pitch black darkness of the hallway. With a sigh, you remove his hands so you can hold one of them properly as you lead him inside by the light of your cell phone. “Come on, I've got some candles inside.”

You haphazardly take off your coat and scarf before you lead a quivering Youngjae through your dark living room to the kitchen. He refuses to let go of you though, so you let him hold your shoulders again as you rifle through a drawer for your lighter. After what seems like an eternity, you finally pull out the lighter only to find that it doesn't work. Fantastic. Guess that's why it was at the back of the drawer...

An annoyed growl rises up through your throat, but you push it down with difficulty. Youngjae's worried voice breaks the silence as you try to figure out what to do next. “Should we go get Coco?” You smile at this, feeling the frustration ebb. “She's pretty quiet, was she asleep when you left?” Youngjae nods in the light of your phone. “Well, then let's just let her sleep. We'll get her if she wakes up, okay?”

After turning on some light switches so you'll know when the power comes back on, the two of you settle down on the floor by the window. Not much moonlight is coming through since the sky is filled with snow clouds, but it's better than nothing. Youngjae isn't too happy when you suggest keeping your phone turned off in case the power takes a long time to come back on, but he seems to relax as his eyes adjust to the darkness.

Even after everything that's happened, you find your mind coming back to what you wanted to tell Youngjae tonight. The way he is unconsciously tracing circles on your hand in the dark is driving you crazy. You feel hyper aware of his body next to yours. You can almost make out the outline of Youngjae's features, but you can't tell what he's thinking. A simple, contented silence has descended between the two of you.

Turning towards Youngjae more fully, you take a deep breath to calm your nerves. “Listen, Youngjae, about the other night at karaoke…” You feel his hand tense in yours, but you plunge ahead regardless. “I'm sorry that things turned out a bit awkward near the end.” You frown a bit when he turns to face you, but doesn't say anything. At least he's listening? “I don't think I was clear that night, but I want to be now.”

Youngjae finally whispers your name in the dark, but you barely hear it over your next words. “I love you.” You grin and chuckle shakily, adding, “I think I've been falling for you since the beginning. I would never have let you off so easily that first night otherwise. I just didn't see it until now.” You struggle to breath as your throat closes from nerves. You need to get this last part out. “I'm sorry if this makes things awkward for awhile, but I needed to tell you. I've never trusted someone enough to feel this way about anyone before. I love you, Youngjae.”

Your face feels like a flame as the lights turn on suddenly following your heartfelt confession. Somehow in the dark you've come to be very close to Youngjae. His face is just as red as yours feels and even the tips of his ears seem tinted. You offer a shy smile as he continues to stare at you in shock, drawing his eyes down to your lips. An electric energy seems to pulse between the two of you for a moment.

When Youngjae jumps up suddenly, you follow him with your eyes, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion. As if nothing happened, he glances around, pointing to your kitchen conversationally, “You know, I've never noticed those bird carvings before. Ahgases!” You call out his name when he steps closer to the kitchen, but Youngjae still isn't looking at you.

Tears threaten when Youngjae quickly turns instead towards your door, offering an awkward, “I better go check on Coco,” on his way. As you pick yourself up from the floor, you call out his name more forcefully, making him pause and finally look at you over his shoulder. You can't believe he's acting like this, like he didn't hear you share your feelings in the dark. “Don't you have anything to say to me?”

He stares at you from across the room as your chest constricts painfully. He seems conflicted, but for once you can't read him like an open book. When he sighs and shakes his head, turning away from your gaze, you feel like screaming. What is this? You hate yourself for the way your lip starts to quiver. Fierce anger finally pushes up from where your heart has dropped into your stomach, propelling you forward.

Youngjae turns surprised eyes towards you as you reach him, saying in a deadly calm voice, “Get out.” He stutters as you open your door and forcefully push him out of your apartment. He stumbles slightly as he passes the threshold and the last thing you see is guilt and grief flash through his eyes before you slam the door in his face. When he begins knocking and calling your name, you lock the door and yell, “Go away, Youngjae!” before retreating to your bedroom.

When the knocks finally subside, your phone starts ringing. You angrily decline the call, turning your phone off completely when he calls you again. Huddling in your blankets, you laugh to yourself, “I guess the universe was trying to send me a sign earlier.” To your dismay, your quiet laughter dissolves into tears. How did things end up like this?


	8. Chapter 8

Bleary eyes open to the faint light of early morning when you hear Youngjae knocking and calling your name again. It takes you a moment to realize he is calling through the shared wall of your bedroom. You glare at the wall, wishing the heat of your anger would scorch him on the other side. You sigh in annoyance when you realize that it’s only 5 in the morning. He must be trying to talk to you before he has to leave for work.

The thought of knocking in code to get him to stop crosses your mind, but it just makes your heart ache. While you know you won’t be able to stay mad at Youngjae forever, you still feel hurt by how lightly he treated your feelings last night. You have no idea what he was thinking. It’s not like you hadn’t entertained the possibility that he might not love you back. But you had expected a better answer than the one he had given you. He hadn’t even given you an answer really! Whether he had meant to or not, it felt like he had walked all over your feelings by refusing to acknowledge them. You had made yourself vulnerable by sharing them, believing through the trust you had in him that he would care for and cherish your feelings even if he didn’t return them, and he didn’t seem to get that.

You turn your phone back on and slip on some headphones, hunting with some difficulty for some music on your phone that doesn’t feature Youngjae’s powerful voice. The repeated notification chimes surprise you as you realize that Youngjae called you on and off most of the night. You sit up, feeling a little guilty. He was gonna have a rough day on so little sleep… You cave slightly, pulling out your headphones and sending a quick text as you go to the living room to start some yoga. It’s not like you’re going to be able to go back to sleep now.

_‘I need some space, Youngjae. Please leave me alone for a bit.’_

When the knocking finally stops, you figure Youngjae got your message and you feel a bit of relief. The familiar stretches soothe your disgruntled spirit and soon you are too engrossed in your deep breathing exercises to care when you hear Youngjae leave his apartment for the day. Refreshed after a quick shower, you slip on your black jeggings and your new comfy, oversized forest green batwing v-neck sweater before catching up on your chores.

Work is a nice reprieve from your thoughts, though the hours fly by too quickly after you solve several complex issues for some long-time customers. When the manager pats you on the back at the end of your shift and tells you that you were really on the ball today, you feel a small glow of pride that at least something is going right. Your cubicle mate shoots you a thumbs up as you take your headset off.

Inevitably, you tell her how your confession went when she corners you at the employee lockers and demands details. Undeterred by your gloomy mood, she hooks her arm through yours with a playful smile, asking, “Well, did you want to come for drinks with me tonight then? I know I just went last night, but now might be a good time for you to finally take me up on my standing offer.”

The hopeful light in her eyes has you laughing at her attempt to make you feel better. You didn’t really feel like going home yet… “Alright, but I can’t stay too late.” She squeals in happiness, running to the break room to tell a few of your coworkers to come for drinks tonight too. As you finish getting your coat on, she comes back grinning. “The not so new guy said he will come too. Now we can finally have his welcoming party!”

When you look at her in confusion, she answers your unasked question, “We never ended up having a welcoming party for him because he said he wanted to wait until everyone in our department could come. But, I think he meant you!” She pokes you in the ribs with her elbow, giggling, “I think he has a crush on you.” Your sarcastic, “At least someone does…” has the two of your chuckling as you join the others to walk to the bar down the street. You glance at the guy in question as he passes you to join some of the guys walking ahead of the group. He blushes when you make eye contact, waving slightly before continuing on. Oh dear, maybe she was right? 

Leaning towards your friend, you whisper, “Did you not tell him my heart is…”. You trail off, unsure of how to finish your question. Taken? Broken? Not open for business? “...preoccupied?” You frown at her choice of words. That’s not quite right. She doesn’t seem to notice as she answers, “No, I didn’t say anything. He never asked. Besides, there's nothing wrong with a little friendly office flirting in my opinion!”

Despite your earlier reservations, you end up actually enjoying yourself at the bar. The pesto chicken nachos you order are delicious and your rum and coke is mixed perfectly. You barely taste the alcohol as you down your third glass, enjoying the warmth flooding your cheeks. When your phone starts to ring, you answer it without thinking.

The sound of Youngjae’s voice makes you so happy before you remember that you’re supposed to be mad at him. It’s surprisingly hard to make out his voice over the loud music. You laugh hysterically at the thought, practically yelling into the phone, “I can’t hear you, Youngjae!! I never thought I’d say that!! Just a sec.” You get up, stumbling slightly, and move to the hall where the bathrooms are hoping it will be a little bit quieter.

You giggle and tell him to go ahead and talk now. “I said I’m sorry about last night and that I was hoping you would come back to me, well to the apartment, and let me talk to you.” You feel grumpy as you finally hear his words. He wants to talk now? Where were his words last night? You sigh, mumbling into the phone, “I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m having fun with my coworkers.”

He seems concerned as he finally clues in and asks, “Are you drunk?!” You giggle and playfully call out, “Bingo!!” as you picture the frown on his face. You had told him before that you didn’t usually drink because you don’t like the way drinking makes you feel, but you find yourself wanting to take back those words tonight. You feel pretty good right now.

You hear him moving around on the other line as he asks, “Where are you? I’ll go to you right now, just stay there and I’ll take you home.” You frown, grumbling into the phone, “I don’t want to go home yet.” When he whispers, “But, I’m worried about you,” so softly and sincerely into the phone, you feel your patience snap. He wasn’t playing fair. “Don’t act like you care, Youngjae. Leave me alone or… or I'll put a cucumber under your pillow!”

Whatever his response is, it is lost to you as you end the call and go back to your table. As you sway a bit, you begrudgingly admit that it might be time to call it a night. You wave off your friend’s concerned look as you get back to the table, taking the shot she offers you with a grateful smile. The whisky burns on the way down, bringing tears to the corners of your eyes as you cough a bit. When she laughs at your expression, you playfully pinch her sides before pulling her in to be heard over the music. “Thanks for inviting me, I really had fun. I’m gonna head out now though.”

Her loud call of, “Why???” prompts the other coworkers to beg you to stay, but you wave them off claiming that you’ll stay longer next time. You really did enjoy the giddy happiness of drinking with friends, it’s been a long time since you’ve done this. You are **so** ready to go home and pass out in bed though. Your cubicle mate finally lets you leave after you pay for and down one more shot with her for the road before calling a taxi.

As you wait for your ride to pull up, the not so new guy comes outside to stand beside you. You feel bad that you don’t remember his name, but he seemed really nice and polite the few times you were able to talk to him tonight. He smiles apologetically at you before asking, “Sorry to do this, but is there any way we could share a cab? You said you lived down by the library and I live around there too. I don’t have much money left, so I was hoping to start paying the fare after you get dropped off first.” You raise your eyebrows at this, finding amusement in his embarrassed expression as he raises his hands in a begging gesture. “It would be a huge favour and I would totally buy you lunch to say thanks when we get paid next week”.

You shrug as the taxi pulls up. “Sure, I don’t mind.” He grins in relief as you slide in the taxi together. The ride to your place is relatively quiet. It’s hard to focus on the conversation when the moving vehicle makes you feel more dizzy. You pay your share of the cab when it reaches your building, tipping freely in your happiness to finally be home. Unfortunately, your dizziness makes you stumble when you get out of the car and you go down hard on your knees. Ouch.

You’re surprised and confused when the not so new guy pulls you up from the snow and helps you stand as the taxi drives away. Your mouth gapes for a second before you yell, “Hey, that’s your ride!” at the disappearing vehicle. “It’s alright, I told him I’d help you inside and call another one after.” You tilt your head, trying to understand his words. “Are you sure that’s alright?” He nods and smiles, putting a hand under your arm to steady you as you sway slightly again. “Yeah, it’s fine. I still saved a lot of money this way, thanks!”

You do appreciate the help as you make your way up the stairs. Your head won’t stop spinning with each step, so you’re relieved when you finally make it to the landing for your floor. You turn towards your coworker with a grateful smile. “Thanks for your help, I’ll be okay from here.” He smiles indulgently at you as he continues to follow you down the hall. You laugh, “Really, I’m okay.” He circles his arm around your waist when you stumble slightly and replies, “I just want to make sure you get inside okay.”

You frown, wishing he would catch a clue. “Seriously, go home already. I’m fine.” Shrugging off his arm, you fumble with your keys and finally unlock your door. When he runs his fingers through the ends of your hair, an unsettling feeling finally leaks through your tiredness. You turn to face him, blocking the door. “I’m not sure what you think you’re doing, but…”

He cuts you off in a friendly voice, saying, “I’ll just help you get your stuff off and get you safely into bed, then I’ll leave,” as he starts to unzip your coat. You stumble into the door as you try to back away, worried by his forward behaviour. Your voice trembles a bit as you say, “Please, just leave.”

“You really should listen to her.” Your eyes turn in surprise to see Youngjae watching you both as he leans against his door frame, his bangs hanging down in wet waves that nearly cover his eyes. He must have just gotten out of the shower not too long ago. While his posture is casual, his eyes look dangerous. You’ve never seen him look so serious before. Your coworker takes a step back at Youngjae’s tone, unsure of what to make of the look Youngjae is giving him.

He looks back and forth between you and Youngjae, trying to get a read on the situation. When he awkwardly replies, “I was just looking after her,” Youngjae narrows his eyes and scathingly replies, “Yeah, I’m sure that’s all that was on your mind.” The red that blooms on your coworker’s cheeks gives him away, making you feel sick. You shake your head, looking away in disgust as you mumble, “Just go away.”

Showing that he has some brains at least, the not so nice guy finally beats a hasty retreat, leaving you and Youngjae alone in the hall. You stare at him, words of gratitude stuck in your throat. His smile finally surfaces slightly as the intensity of the moment recedes. “I’m so glad you’re alright,” he breathes, pulling you in for a hug. A small part of you wonders if you should resist, but it feels too good being in Youngjae's arms again. You had missed him more than you were willing to admit.

Taking Youngjae’s hand, you pull him inside your apartment so you can talk a bit more. He helps you take off your boots and coat as you try to keep your balance. His concern makes you giggle a bit and you finally say, “Thank you... for everything,” when he stands up again. Youngjae’s eyes search yours uncertainly in the dim light of your apartment as his hand begins to carefully caress your exposed shoulder. The way he looks right now, staring at you through his bangs with the red collar of his black and white striped shirt slightly askew, makes your insides burn with need.

In a moment of insanity, you step closer to Youngjae, running your hands up into his hair as you pull yourself up to kiss him. You’re so close, but Youngjae grabs you by the arms gently, yelling, “Whoa! Whoa, wait, wait a second!” as he blushes furiously. You groan, feeling frustrated as you pull out of Youngjae’s grasp. You huff in annoyance as you turn away and make your way to the bedroom, Youngjae trailing behind you. “What do you want, Youngjae?! You keep throwing me all these vibes, but you won’t tell me how you really feel!” It feels good to vent at him as you clumsily yank off your jeggings before pulling off your sweater. You can practically feel Youngjae’s embarrassment as he stutters behind you, “Wh… what are you doing?! Put your clothes back on!”

You shrug, uncaring as you unhook your bra and toss it to the side. “It’s not like you see me as a woman anyway.” Slipping on your nightgown, you turn to Youngjae as he mumbles, “Of course I do.” Even though he’s not looking at you, his face is an adorable beet red. The anger that propelled you earlier leaves you as you sigh and decide to crawl into bed feeling exhausted. Youngjae looks up at the sound of rustling sheets and he seems relieved to find you covered up in bed.

He comes to sit beside you, but you roll away from him. Youngjae runs a soothing hand up and down your back as you groan, “Go away, I feel nauseous. I don’t want you to see me puke.” His chuckle sounds like music and you feel yourself drifting off as he says, “Let’s talk more in the morning, okay?” The feeling of his fingers massaging your scalp and the sound of his gentle humming pulls you into a deep, dreamless sleep.

When you finally wake up, it’s morning and you are alone. Was last night a dream? You feel a bit embarrassed for coming on to Youngjae so strongly. Maybe you should apologize? You feel extra bad when you see that he left you some tylenol and water beside your bed stand. As you down the water, you notice some papers that were folded under it. Placing the glass down quickly, you slowly unfold the papers and gasp. It’s Youngjae’s song. It’s finally finished. 

_Dear Neighbour_

_You heard through the walls around my heart_

_And wanted to know the real me._

_This is crazy,_

_Scary._

 

_Still, you lead me by the hand through the dark_

_And safeguard all that I am._

_I am falling,_

_Swiftly._

 

_I wish that I were more brave._

_When I cry out, you run to my side._

_But all that I have for you_

_Is this letter._

_Though time is not our friend,_

_I would be yours_

_Until the sun shines in._

_So please be my dear,_

_Dear neighbour._  

 

You have to stop reading when the words start blurring together from your unshed tears. Hardly daring to hope, you rush through a shower and quickly get ready. You really need to talk to Youngjae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone curious, Youngjae's look at the end of this chapter is inspired by his look during the 7 for 7 era. I was thinking of the way his eyes look so serious during his solo verse parts in the 'You Are' music video, I love those moments! I'm sure a lot of you can tell that I was also taking inspiration from one of the live performances of 'Teenager' where Youngjae has those long wavy bangs and the stripped jacket. If you haven't checked out the video on Youtube that has a Youngjae focus for that performance, do it!! He is so sexy, like a lowkey bad boy haha ;)


	9. Chapter 9

You’re relieved when Youngjae shyly opens his door to your quiet knocking sometime later. Unable to contain yourself, you drag him into the living room as the door swings shut and pull him down to sit on the couch beside you. Coco swings a sleepy head in your direction, yawning before falling back to sleep on her bed. You hand Youngjae the music sheets, smiling widely at his bashful expression. “It’s beautiful, I love it. I would love to hear you sing it sometime.” 

Praising him finally brings out the grin you are longing to see and it bolsters your courage further as you ask, “Youngjae, please tell me what is going on. I just want to know your honest feelings. I want you to tell me the truth instead of sending me mixed signals.” When he takes your hands in his, you relax from their comforting warmth. He smiles regretfully at you, looking you in the eyes seriously as he says, “I’m sorry for confusing you and hurting you like that. I should have given you an answer right away.”

When he chuckles, the warmth in your fingers spreads right down to your toes. “You should have heard Mark-hyung ream me out when I told him what happened.” Youngjae chuckles once more at your surprised expression, explaining, “I’ve been close with Mark-hyung for a long time, he’s the first person I told when I realized I was starting to like you. I think he’s been rooting for us all along.” You think back on that karaoke night in amusement. Maybe he chose that song for a sneakier reason than you thought. 

Youngjae rubs his thumb across your hand as he continues, “I’ve been falling in love with you for awhile now.” Your pulse skitters at his easy admission. “But I was hoping that we could coast along as friends a lot longer than this. I wasn’t ready for the way you looked at me that night.” You blush as he smiles at you, his eyes dancing in happiness.  His smile falters a bit as he says, “I’m sorry I didn’t acknowledge you and tried to play dumb, I thought it might put you off for awhile. I never thought you’d try to tell me again so soon after. I should have told you how I felt then, I’m sorry for trying to ignore what you said.” His sincerity soothes any lingering ache and you feel lighter as you soak in the truth of his words. 

You feel bad for poking at the past, but you have to ask one more question. “If you knew how you felt about me, why did you hesitate to tell me for so long?” Sighing, Youngjae runs a hand through his hair, thoroughly messing it as he explains, “I was just not sure if it was fair to try to start anything with you considering my contract. ”When you’re clearly not following, he elaborates further. “Well, you might not know, but idol contracts generally have a no dating clause. Most people think all of the GOT7 members are free to date now since their contracts were renegotiated and renewed last year. The fans were really supportive when Bambam-ah started dating his current girlfriend not long after the renewal. They were even happy for Jackson-hyung when he announced he had a girlfriend a few months ago too.” You nod at this, having definitely heard all about Jackson’s girlfriend at his last hangout at Youngjae’s.

Not quite connecting the dots, you ask, “So, what’s the issue then?” Youngjae bites his lip, looking small and worried. You smile reassuringly at him, urging him to feel confident enough to confide in you. You’re certainly surprised when he finally says, “Well, the thing is, I can’t date yet. A lot of people forget, but I joined the agency a lot later than the rest of the group. I still have another year and a half before I can change my contract terms…”.

There’s an awkward silence as you try to wrap your mind around things. Youngjae takes this as a bad sign and starts to ramble, “I’ve been fighting with the hyungs about this a lot lately, especially Jaebum-hyung and Jinyoung-hyung. They understand how I feel, but they tried to encourage me to just remain friends with you for now to protect myself. They also clearly shot down the idea of me trying to have a secret relationship. I know they’re right, I’m not very good at hiding my emotions. I would be in a lot of trouble if anyone found out we were dating.”

Youngjae slows down when he sees you chuckling behind your fingers. This seems like a complicated issue, but you have to laugh. His hyungs certainly knew him well. Youngjae starts bouncing his leg as he continues somewhat anxiously, “I didn’t want to ask you to wait around for me, that didn’t seem fair. I didn’t want to tell you how I felt because then I knew I’d beg you to stay.”

In your heart, you know you would if he only asked. You don’t feel worried about the future of your relationship anymore, but you let Youngjae finish getting it all out. “After we had that fight, I stayed up calling you.” Guilt makes you wince slightly as Youngjae goes on. “When you weren’t answering, I finally sat down and wrote my feelings out for you into that song. I wasn't even sure if you'd come back and listen to me. I’d never felt so lost before.”

Youngjae smiles slightly as he tells you, “Mark-hyung ended up arguing with the others when he saw how I was feeling today. He's always told me that I should be true to my feelings for you, so he was mad that I had gotten so twisted up and hurt by trying to hide the truth. When Jackson-hyung finally told me that this really wasn’t a decision I should be making for you, I knew he was right and that I needed to talk to you. It’s just, I don’t want to go back to being just friends, but I can’t tell the world we’re together either. So where does that leave us?”

Shifting closer to Youngjae, you hold the side of his worried face as you smile and say, “It will be alright. Now that I understand what’s going on, I can see why you were so worried. But, I honestly don’t mind waiting to go public with our relationship until it’s a safe time for you. We can just tell everyone we are close friends until then.”

Youngjae shakes his head at this. “I don’t think you understand what you’re promising. We will need to  **stay** friends, just friends, for a long time, even knowing how we feel about each other.” He places his hand on yours as you continue to cradle his cheek. You feel your cheeks flood with colour as he fixes you with a heated stare. “I know a lot of people think I’m naive and innocent, but I am a  _ man _ and I do  _ want _ you. I wanted you so much last night.” 

You feel giddy as your body tingles in excitement at his words. His eyes roam over you longingly as he sighs in frustration. “But, I want to be able to cherish what we have and not try to steal moments fearfully. Once I kiss you, I’ll want to kiss you every day. Once I touch you, my hands will find your skin unconsciously. I just know that I won’t be able to stay away from you anymore. So, we would have to wait. Wait to do more, wait to be more to each other.” 

“Is that all you’re worried about?”

Youngjae’s eyes widen in surprise as you smile cheekily at him. You laugh at his expression as you say, “Hearing that our relationship will have to remain frozen for so long is definitely disappointing, but just being able to spend time with you in any way makes me so happy. I can wait for the rest if I have to.” You wink at him playfully as you add, “Well, I would wait for you, if you actually reply properly to me that is.” 

When he finally softly whispers, “I do love you, very much,” it’s like your heart is soaring.  The urge to kiss him is so strong, it’s hard to hold back when he smiles at you like that. “Hmm, this  **is** going to be difficult,” you quip, enjoying his little eye smiles as his face stretches into a full on grin. Youngjae begins laughing, as if the same thought just crossed his mind. At least you were in this together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say you were becoming sexually frustrated was an understatement. You had taken to avoiding performance videos of GOT7 just so you could stop checking out Youngjae as he does sinful dance moves with his body. But it was worth it. Youngjae would always be worth it.

_ ‘Let me know when you are finished and I’ll pick you up. I should be done shopping with Mark-hyung soon.’ _

You smile as you read Youngjae’s message and tuck away the plans you’ve been working on in secret. So much time has passed since you confessed your feelings to Youngjae and you haven’t wasted it moping around wishing for things that would have to wait. Transitioning from a fledgling graduate to a recognized and accomplished architect took a lot of work, but it was finally paying off now that more and more projects were being thrown your way. 

Now that Youngjae’s contract will be up for renegotiation in a matter of days, you’ve been busy finishing up the design for a special house for the two of you. You blush as you imagine living there with Youngjae, no longer just neighbours, but best friends and lovers trying to build a real home together. 

It was probably a little unorthodox, but you are planning to surprise him with the blueprints on the day his contract is finished before asking him to marry you. You don't mind the idea of a long engagement, you've waited this long after all. But, you want the world to know that Youngjae is irrevocably yours. As soon as he's on the market, you're taking him off forever. You laugh to yourself at the thought. 

When Youngjae picks you up later to join the guys for dinner, he seems incredibly happy for some reason. His laughter reaches a new intensity of loudness and it's as if he's made of sunshine. Not even Jinyoung can keep a serious face as Youngjae continues to joke around. You can't take your eyes off Youngjae all night, so you start to notice his hand continuously coming up to rest on the secret chest pocket he told you he loves so much.

Curiosity peaked, you lean over to Mark and ask, “Did something good happen today? He seems happier than usual. I didn't think that was possible.” Mark chuckles quietly at your confused expression as his eyes drift over to Youngjae. He shrugs and answers noncommittally, “Shopping just went really well today.” 

You raise an eyebrow at this, saying, “Okaaay… What does that mean?” Mark's lips quirk in a secretive smile, but all he says before returning to his meal is, “You'll see”. In the days to come, you are happily surprised to find out that, despite being pretty much opposites in everything, you and Youngjae really do think a lot alike.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it folks! I am so happy with this soft and fluffy ending, I think it really suits a sweetheart like Youngjae! :D Sorry if you were looking for something hot and heavy, though I'm sure things were pretty steamy once they finally took that next step ;) heehee
> 
> I also just wanted to let you guys know that it will probably be awhile before the next Part of Look is up. I'm starting a course next week, that's why I wanted to make sure to get Part 3 out to you so soon. The course finishes at the end of April, so hopefully I can start writing again after that! :) Still not sure who I want to tackle next, so many ideas are floating around in my head about Yugyeom and Jinyoung, JB too! Mark will probably be last cause I keep changing my mind about his story haha 
> 
> Anyway, hope to be back here soon with another story for you! Thanks for reading Part 3! <3


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